Maury Moment

Crayola Factory Fun!

My fiancé, Elias, has been in my life since Andy was 2. His father, unfortunately, has never wanted to be part of his life. This puts me in a sticky situation. Andy doesn’t understand that Eli isn’t his father and hasn’t put 2 and 2 together and wonder why he doesn’t call him Dad.  Andy is very smart and has the capacity to understand the situation but we are certain he could not handle the emotional impact. I’m worried, confused. When or how do I tell a child who loves every single person they meet that their very own father has abandoned him? Not to mention his other set of grandparents who live less than 5 miles away haven’t seen him since he was 5 months old. I wrestle with this all the time.  When he asks about his father I tell him, “Eli chose to be your father,” which is an absolute truth.  But someday I think the questions will get harder.

Complicating things a bit more is that Andy has a ½ sister named Kayla, that my son’s biological father’s side of the family will not let him meet. When I was in communication with them when Andy was very small they did not even want her to know that Andy existed. My hands are tied, I’m not sure what to do. But I do know it doesn’t seem fair, to either Kayla or Andy. 

The only comfort I have is knowing that my family adores Andy and Elias’ parents treat Andy as if he were their true grandson.  Sometimes biology or genetics don’t really factor in in order to figure out who your family is. As long as your surround your child with those who love him I think it will all turn out alright!