Party Time

We celebrated the big 1-0 with an awesome cake!

One of the main challenges facing kids on the autism spectrum has to do with socialization. They may not be able to develop the social skills necessary to act appropriately in certain situations. This may often lead to small peer groups and lack of involvement in typical activities. One of the greatest joys I have had since my son started at a school with children who have similar social issues is being able to finally let Andy experience some of the joys of childhood. I remember the first time we got an invitation to a classmate’s birthday party, it was so exciting! It was so sweet to see the children interacting beyond the walls of Celebrate the Children. The joy they bring to each other really made my heart melt. I knew I’d have to do the same for Andy.

So for the past three years I have hosted birthday parties, but not just for the kids, the party serves double duty. Not only do the children have a great time but the parents get to connect. Since CTC isn’t a public school, families are spread out among 3 states, many of us about an hour from school. Sometimes it’s just not possible for weekend play dates, and with today’s hectic lifestyles we simply don’t have the time.  So, I set up birthday parties near Andy’s school, which is within a decent driving range for everyone, though I admit that it is not very convenient. The past 2 years we have enjoyed bowling, it’s fun to watch the kids play, the parents relax (or some were bowling too!) and for everyone to feel comfortable with the people they were around. I treasure the memories of the parties we have had and been to and always look forward to the next time! 

Happy Birthday Boy!!!

He's Why I'm Here

Some people may wonder why I decided to go back to school at my age. Well, simply said it’s because of my son. I already have a few degrees, business and hotel/restaurant management. My initial intention career-wise was to work in the hospitality industry and travel around the world. Shortly after I got hired by Hilton I had the little guy. After I stayed home with Andrew for a year I thought I had better prepare for a more 9-5 type of job, didn’t think the long hours and 7 day-a-week work schedules of hotel employees was really the best thing to do as a single mother. I grew up with a mother who was a nurse and I hated her working crazy hours and holidays, I didn’t want to do that to my son. So, when Andy was 2 I went back to school at Raritan Valley Community College and earned my Paralegal Certification. I was never able to get my foot in the door as a paralegal because I lacked the all-important experience. So, I just continued my job as a substitute high school teacher.


When Andy started school I decided I wanted to be a teacher full-time so I went back Raritan Valley to start my studies. Unfortunately in the beginning of that fall semester was when he was diagnosed with autism. I was able to leave school and take care of all the new challenges that were in front of us. Suddenly my calendar was filled with appointments with all sorts of professionals who were supposed to be helping my son. School went on the back burner longer than anticipated due to my own battle with illness as well. A few years later, however, once Andrew was settled into an appropriate school, I was too bored just staying at home. So, that’s how I ended up here at wonderful Kean University for a second time. I am in my final year of post-bachelor’s work in the hopes of eventually teaching high school English.  It doesn’t bother me to be “old” and in school, I know that being a teacher will be something that I will love and give me the best opportunity to be there for my son when he needs me. It’s the best of both worlds! 

Medication Reevaluation

For years I have struggled with my decision to medicate my son. And most recently I have had to deal with the possibly my son be over-medicated. When I first decided to allow Andrew to be medicated for  his autism and co-morbid diagnoses I felt I had no other choice. My son would walk through parking lots and lick car windows, pinch or spit at strangers in the store, and one of my favorites, yell for security in a store even when I was right next to him and he was safe. It got to a point that sometimes we just could not take him anywhere. The medication helped a considerable amount, but the doctor just kept adding and adding more and more. But I was stuck.

Finding a child psychiatrist is not the easiest task. Unless you are a millionaire, and can pay the $400 per visit you are stuck with the few that accept insurance. I had health insurance through his biological father and Medicaid through Social Security, since the government deems Andy disabled. Medicaid highly prefers that you use a doctor that accepts the private insurance first and then they pay all of the copays. A great concept which makes sense, but unfortunately the private insurance I had was CRAP. Now, however, my son’s deadbeat dad quit his job and moved to California (without telling me!) so I am without that primary insurance, so all we have is the Medicaid. 

So, for years I had searched for another Psychiatrist to reevaluate my son and potentially help us reduce the amount of medicine that he needs. I take him to a mental health clinic where he also receives therapy. Lately the doctor who has been very disagreeable to me about getting him off some of the medication has been canceling every appointment. One time when I asked her about reducing the medicine she even looked at me and said. “Why do you think he’s doing so well, it’s the medicine!” And when I mentioned his school was concerned I got, ”Who’s the doctor here?” She didn’t even see my point that he’s been on meds for 5 years and don’t we need to think about biological changes of his body? Needless to say I might as well have been talking to the wall. 

Well, on Friday after another canceled appointment I was able to speak to the medical director of the clinic. She herself was overly concerned with the huge doses of medication my son has been on. She set me up to see another psychiatrist for a reevaluation of medication. I could not be more excited!!! Today I received a letter in the mail stating that his original psychiatrist was leaving the clinic as of October 1^st. Strange.

I am so hopeful that maybe, finally we can get him off of at least some of these medications. I don’t regret putting him on medicine back five years ago but I do regret not being more insistent that the doctor listen to me. In five years people change so much, from ages 5 to 10 he is a such a different person. I’m hopeful this doctor will see things more my way, after all I am the Mom and I know him better than anyone. I’ll still search for another opinion outside of the clinic but for now this a big and exciting step. YEAH!